0 1 Incident of the Unknown Year
by Sonanoka21093
Summary: A trip through HRtP from the PoV of the eight bosses. As I have always wondered how the incidents may have gone in my world, I have decided to start a series based on the events of each and every game. Expect an odd sense of humor to be calling the shots, for that is what I use to write. ...Well, that and a keyboard.
1. Dutiful Guardian of Yang

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner. I do not own any of the things from this story, and am merely making use of them

A/N: Well, here we have a rather generic idea with a twist! Yes, it's a retelling of Highly Responsive to Prayers from how I imagine it went, but it's not from the PoV you might expect. It's from the boss's PoV~

Y/N: I would add my thoughts, but-

A/N: Shush!

Y/N: Fine, but do remember that you owe me, Yukari.

A/N: For the last time-

Y/N: You mean one of many times.

A/N: ...Stop calling me you, just because you felt the need to switch our bodies, dang it! Anyways, due to the twist, this shall pretty much be a very strange story.

A/N2: Aaaand before I knew it, I had started writing it in Luminous Beginnings' style! Jeez... This shall be a strange, strange little story at this rate... Ohh, and while the story will make little sense at first, the reason of that shall become apparent in due time. Yes, this is connected to the Paradise series, even if that doesn't really make sense as of right now.

* * *

Ohh? How long has it been since last we have had a visitor...Isn't that right, Sin? Well, you don't have to bite my head off; I already know of what blood she is. No, I will not allow you to spill it. Yes, that is final!

Now, where was I... Ahh, yes... Floating out from the shadows to reveal our rather unique form. I do wish that we had a voice to speak with, but this shall do. Oho, a fiesty one, isn't she? ...Did she just hit herself over the head with that yin-yang orb?

Aaand she would seem to be out cold... How do I know? I poked her; I know you feel everything that I do, so put an end to this act of yours. ...No, not like that at all! No, I am _not_ a pedophile! Ohh haha, how bored you must be to even make that jest... No, we will not eat her, either. ...Need you even ask the why...? First off, eating her would bring nothing but yin to us, and I am not about to allow you control over us again.

_Especially_ after last time. You willfully ignored our duty, and instead caused trouble of the evil kind. Yes, I do realize that I have a way with words. ...And I also realize that that was sarcasm, yes. You know what, I shall end this conversation now, Sin. Ohh, how original! Did it take you all decade to think that one up? Perhapse a _century _or two? Maybe I _did_ go a bit far with that, but you _are_ being a bit of an irritant. ...True, that _would _br the norm for you, now that you mention it...

Ohh? It would seem that she has awoken, Sin. Quiet. ...Yes, that is true, that _was _a bit of a stupid thing to say; it is not as though we can speak. Well, that hurt... Right in the yang, ouch! Wait, stop hitting me! ...And stop laughing, Sin!

No choice, if she's going to be like this... Breaking the first seal! Almost... there... There! With that broken, I can now communicate with her. Ahh, it feels good to have legs once more. Ohh, who am I kidding. It feels good to be even a _semblance _of alive once more. Although my time is limited... I would preffer not to allow myself to weaken enough that you can free yourself, Sin.

Hail, young one of Hakurei. How is it that I know your familiy name? You have the orb, do you not? Ohh, do not act so surprised; I was not always an enormous ball of yin and yang. That wasn't untill _after _I died. Ohh, shut up... ...No, not you, young one. You see, there is another that is sealed within me. My sister, Sin. ...Yes, her name _does _speak a great deal about her, hmm? I'm actually surprised that you know the english word for such a thing, however... Ohh well, that is of less than a great deal of importance.

Ohh? You wish to know why I was in such a form? Well, that is a rather short tale, but I suppose it is good to pass on the wisdom of the past to the next generation. ...Or however many generations it has been since when last I was alive. Well, it is in part to keep the spirit of my sister in check, for she is quite the little trouble maker. A pillaged village here, a neglected sweeping duty there, and... Yes, I must agree on her being quite evil for neglecting her sweeping duty. Not to mention that she has a habit to wander off and eat people. Yes, quite hard to keep her from doing as such when I let her off her leash, so I do make sure not to.

On that note, why would you be here? Should your parents not be looking over you, at the shrine a ways away? I'm not so sure as to what a supermarket is, but I shall assume them to be at a market of some sort. And why are you not at home? Something destroyed said shrine, and ran this way? Well I did let a fallen angel through not that long ago, but they had clearance to be banished to Makai. Not to mention that I can't exactly let you simply go to one of the many hells. Such a thing needs a guardian's permission, which you obviously haven't recieved.

Why yes, I am a good spirit of sorts, but it would be unwise to trust the words of a stranger. I could be some sort of pervert who has developed an elaborate ruse, just to get into your cute little nickers. No, just because I say it in such a way does not mean that I want to see the contents, Sin! Nor would I find the contents to be even cuter, as you say! No, I am not a pedophile! ...Sorry about that, now where were we? ...Yes, that would be Sin I was talking to again. Ohh damn it all to... I am _not _a pedophile, so stop looking at me like tha- Erk... I think I've lost feeling... in my groin...

Twice damned... yin-yang orb...! W-wait...! You... You musn't enter- ...Makai. Damn it all...


	2. Evil Eye Innocent of Evil

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner. I do not own any of the things from this story, and am merely making use of them.

A/N: Now to continue in this strange style!

Y/N: You say that as if it were a bad thing; he _is _your favorite author, is he not?

A/N: Still...

Y/N: 'Still' what? There is no 'still' involved. You like his style, and so it rubbed off on you in this tale.

A/N: Jeez, you make it sound so strange... Anyways, how about we get on with the show?

Y/N: You know, people are going to look at you strangely if you keep insisting on calling this a show...

* * *

Ohh dear, ohh dear... What is a human child doing in my plane of all the places that she could be...? If I don't do something soon, she'll surely fall into a trap, and lose her soul...! Maybe if I make illusions, I can scare her back? But what if I scare her to death?! Ohh dear, ohh dear, whatever shall I do...? Ehh? You say that humans aren't easily scared to death, Yumeko? Well, in that case... Hrm... What to do... what to do...

Ahah, that'll do! I can create an immitation evil eye- no, _five_! Five evil eyes would be scarier than one, right? And they shall fire illusions at her, easily scaring her to the point of soiling her knickers! ...I hope they don't stain, though... Yes, I'm sure you _could _clean them if need be, but I'd rather not bring her to the capital, where she would be in a great deal of danger...

* * *

Mama? Mama? Where mama...? Mamaaa! Ahh! Big ball! Run away! Oww! It hurt! No hurt me..! Run, siblings! No...! One fall down, no move!

Ohh dear... Ohh dear, ohh dear me...! I seem to have given one of them sentience by accident! ...Not that I was expecting her to start trying to kill them, but regardless of that I was hoping that these crude creations would be without such things... Well, I suppose accidents _do _happen, right...? Yes, I agree that it _is_ a bit odd to call that an accident...

I just hope it doesn't hurt the girl... That would be dreadfully counterproductive to keeping her alive, safe, and keeping her soul intact... Yes, I agree, but Yumeko, not all humans are as sturdy as you, nor as... well, you are indeed a head above the vast majority in many ways.

* * *

Bad girl hurt sibling! Me hurt bad girl! Take that, and that, and that! Yes, run! Run and me hurt you for hurting sibling! Ahh...! You hurt another! Me make red-white thing hurt lots!

* * *

Ohh dear, it seems to be chasing the young girl towards Vina... Well, atleast she seems to be fine thus far... ...Or not. It would seem that in her defense she somehow managed to knock herself out with that giant... yin-yang orb? That looks somewhat familiar, but I know not where from... Well, atleast now I can come out without scaring the poor girl. Spacial coordinates locked, area cleared to a large enough degree, and spell charged... **Telepo**- Ohh dear! She's getting back up! Ohh shush, Yumeko... Yes, yes, I know you were right, but must you use _that_ tired old line...? Really now... Ohh dear, there goes another pair of the ones without intelligence, leaving only the one to fend for herself. Ohh, and now it's being chased by the little girl... Well, atleast the other four seem to only be knocked out, so it's not as if she will kill her. ...Right?

* * *

Waaaaa, she hurt all, and they no get up...! Ruuuun! Owie! Nooo! Don't hurt me more, mean thing!

* * *

Ohh dear...! She seems to have chased it all the way back to the gate... Yes, just a bit more and- ...Ohh dear... Yes, I agree, Yumeko. That _is _likely to have reprecussions for us, in some way... For one, I'm sure that gate guard...ian... Ahah! _That _was what it looked like she was tossing around! ...But why? Ohh, good point, Yumeko... Maybe they _are_ in some way related? ...Or maybe she's throwing around the gate guardian itself? She _does _seem to be rather strong, all things considered. Quite strong for a human, she is... Shush, Yumeko. I never said that I thought she would make a better maid than you, or anything of the sort. ...Or were you just fishing for compliments? If you want to be praised for the lovely work you do, I can do that...

In fact, I think I will do just that! Good girl. Ohh, stop that. You know you like when I pet you. And scratch under you chin... And maybe even rub your belly a bit... Good doggie. Eheh, sorry, I got a wee bit carried away, I do believe... I'll turn you back into a human now, dear Yumeko. There! All better? Ohh? Ohh dear, you really did like all of that? I was only joking with you, Yumeko... But if you so insist, you can be my cute little dog at any time you happen to be free of any cleaning that needs doing.

* * *

Ahh... ...Ahh? Where I at...? Shiny swirly hole looked safe, but... everything so different here! So... _green_! Bleh, and taste bad... Mrr... I hungry! Ehh? Ahh! Scary lady! Run! N-nooo...! Let go m- ahaha...! Th-that feel weird...! Ahaha! N-no, st-stop! ...Ehh? Why you stop, scary lady...? ...You have pretty red hair! Why don't you make any noises...? Hello...? Are you th- Ahaha...! W-wait...! Ahah...! ...Ehh? What this thing...? It all black, and looks so... yummy... Oww! Why you hit me...? Ehh...? I shouldn't eat that...? If you say so... What I supposed to eat, scary lady...? Ohh! That look tasty, too! It meat...? What meat? I can have?! Yay, me grateful, nice scary lady!


	3. Magician of the Sanguine

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner. I do not own any of the things from this story, and am merely making use of them.

A/N: And we get one with this show yet again, hmm? Doing well, thus far! Makai Route Stage 15, and only 2 lives lost! ...By her own yin-yang orb, but still.

Y/N: Yes, that thing _is _rather difficult to use, isn't it?

A/N: ...Although, how is she able to smack it around, and yet she can't take a hit from it?

Y/N: Now that would be telling, wouldn't it?

A/N: ...You really like to mess with me, don't you...?

Y/N: Ohh, indubitably so!

A/N: Anywho, as the style from before is becoming less and less viable, I shall now switch back to my own style of writing~ Now, how about we get on with this rather ordinary show?

I began to groggily rub at my eyes with one of the finger-like progjections of my wings, before blinking the sleep from my eyes. Yep, still in the ruins... "Kree...!" I arched my back in a small stretch, feeling a bit stiff from clinging to the ceiling for... however long I had been out. That was a great nap! Feel so refreshed, even if I had only recently finished spell practice! Now to stretch my wings a bit, and get back to work... A one, and a two, and a- Ahh? I heard a big explosion!" Dropping from the ceiling of one of the ancient ruins that I had been using as a place to stay, I began to flap my way over to the window. Is master nearby? Upon landing on the window sill, I waited for my echos to pick anything up. "...Kree?" I smell a human and an evil eye, and... I _think _the human is chasing the evil eye! Hard to tell, with how they're both small... Let's go an' check it out, me!

In the distance I heard the wingless evil eye floating away from a little human girl, while she chased after it with a great deal of anger on her face. Atleast, that's what I figured to be going on from the way the echos were bouncing off of them. It seemed like she was really, _really_ angry, while tossing some strange ball at the eye. ...Sounds like my kinda gal! Let's gooo~

With my destination in mind, I took to the air, flapping towards the direction of the sounds, and where they seemed to be headed. Hearing what I assumed to be giant stalagmites in my way, I began to dodge and weave around them. My only hint as to where they were was my echos, what with this place being so very dark. After a modest flight time, my love for the feeling of the air rustling my fur began to distract me with the sheer joy of flight. With my attention span having had reached its end, I began to fly about for the hell of it. Great excercise after a nice looong nap! hearing my stomach growl like an angry tiger, I began to search out something to eat. Been so long since I've seen a human to eat... Just thinking about the blood makes me drool a bit! Yeah, let's go do that! Remembering that there was a human around here, I began my search anew. Where ohh where has that human girl gone, ohh where ohh where could she be~? ...Not findin' her... Where could she have gone...?

Sighing in annoyance, I landed on the edge of what I guessed to be a rock or something, going by the shape. Maybe it's a short stalatite...? That's not that important, though. From my perch, I began trying to locate where that human had gone. She seemed to be chasing the poor evil eye towards this direction, so why can't I seem to find her? ...Wait, why do I hear a heart so close by...?

From right beside me, I heard a young girl scream, and found myself being flung away with more strength than I would expect from a human. ...Well, I _think_ it was the human. Couldn't be the evil eye though, as it seemed to have no wings to grab me with! As I tumbled across the rough ground, I dug the claws of my wings in, quickly sliding to a halt. Jeez, I wish I knew that I could use 'em as fingers back when I was just a wee batsy without a form that includes hands! That would have been useful as all hell! Ohh well, hind sight and such...

Hearing something headed towards me, I jumped up, and took to the air. Below me, I heard the sound of metal bouncing off of stone, which was followed by metal bouncing off of bone from where I was thrown. Soon after I heard a soft thud in the gravely, sand-like earth. Did she... hit herself?

"Kree ee ee ee ee...!" I couldn't help but laugh at what was probably a human knocking herself out with her own weapon, before I sounded out the state of things. Seems like she's laying there in the dirt, and that metalic ball of hers is rolling away from her...

Yep, that sounds like she knocked herself out, alright! With my mouth watering, I flapped over to her, and landed on her immature chest, not that my own was any more mature looking, and doubly so when I'm a bat! So long as I stay in this form, I'll be plenty full from this meal! As I cut open her neck with my fangs, I began to grin happily, lapping at the wound I had inflicted. It's so yummy! So rare that I get to have fresh human blood! Usually I end up being forced to feed off of master, but her blood's kinda gross...

With my tummy nice and full, I touched a claw from my wing to the wound, and mentally began to utter the normally verbal componant of a regenerative spell. Can't just leave her to die after all! That'd be really cruel... I mean, she _did _kinda sorta give me a meal without any effort on my part. Was so very hungry, too... With the young girl healed of all the wounds she had sustained across the trip of which I was ignorant to, I flew off to take another nap. Drinking so much had made me a bit sleepy...

A while after I had left, the bewildered maiden of Hakurei woke up, none the wiser to the gift of a meal that she had given, which was returned to her as a gift of a heal.


	4. Angel Who Literally Fell

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner. I do not own any of the things from this story, and am merely making use of them.

A/N: And finally this Makai Route is coming to a close! Will our hero make it make it in time? Is Sariel evil? Find out next time o-

Y/N: _This_ time.

A/N: This time?

Y/N: This time.

A/N: ...Right... Erm, find out this time, on this episode of... of...

Y/N: ...This is getting to be depressing. Just call it maiden ball z, and be done with this rather weak joke.

* * *

Hm...? I sense a rather potant holy relic headed this way... That wouldn't be a particularly wise idea, what with a city full of daemons being rather near, so I had best intercept them. Rising from my meditation with a single flap of my four unbroken wings, I landed gracefully on my feet. With a vague destination in mind, I began to walk towards the source of this mighty energy. Best meet them half way, lest they be forced to walk all that way, and only be rewarded with what is likely a swift death. Or fly, for that matter.. It's not as if I have knowledge of their method of travel after all. I'm no god, nor am I plagued by all that that would entail, good or bad.

After a somewhat lengthy walk through this plane of eternal twilight, I arived upon a young human. "Hail, human of seemingly few years! Are you the one who is waltzing about with a hol-" Finding the holy relic I was inquiring about being chucked at my head, I deftly caught ot in a hand, before narrowing my eyes are the young one. "...Why, may I ask, are you throwing a holy relic around like a toy, _girl_?"

Tearing up with more than a slight amount of fear, but still standing her ground with trembling legs, the young girl began to respond. "Y-you broke my house, you big meanie!"

House? ...Is she reffering to that shrine of the eastern gods I landed on, when I fell? Well, regardless of that, I cannot tollerate such treatment of such a powerful holy relic. "Before I address that issue, do tell me what possessed you to use this artifact for blunt force trauma."

"I... I have to make you pay, and things keep on being mean! ...A-and gimme back grandpa Genji's ball! It's scary here, without it..." She looked about, hearing all sorts of hisses and growls from the daemons that she had been using the ball to fight off.

With a sigh, I held up the orb, and tapped into a bit of its power, using it to radiate a large dome-shaped shield of pure holy energy. "The daemons will not harm you, now. Or to be more exact, they are now _unable_ to, due to the power of this sanctifier."

At what I told her, she looked about in wonder. "How'd you do that...? There's so much of the yellow energy stuff from the inside of it on the outside, and it's keeping the monsters away!" Ohh? She can see the holy energies of this orb? ...I see, she must be from a line of holymen and the like.

With that done, I began to make my way over to the girl, earning me a flinch. "W-what are you..." Once more fear began to be shown through those windows into her still pure, untainted soul.

As I made my way towards her, she slowly back away, extending my walking distance just a bit. However, with the length of her legs being significantly less than my own, coupled with how she was walking backwards, while I was walking in the proper direction, she made little ground. Once I had finally reached her, she stopped trying to back away, and looked up at me with tears of fear in her young eyes.

Letting out a sigh, I knelt down to her height, so as to make myself seem far less intimidating. Just as I had hoped, her knees had stopped knocking together, if only just a bit. With a slightly forced smile, I handed the orb back to her, before ruffling her hair slightly. Humans like that, if memory serves, and that goes double for the little ones. "Now, as you were saying about what I assume to be your family's shrine to the gods?"

The little human perked up at that, her confidence regained now that she had the relic which seemed to belong to her parent's parent back in her grasp. "You broke my grandpa's shrine!" Her body began to suck up a bit of the energy from within the ball, showing me that she was subconciously preparing to battle. Ahh, the things that ancestry can do for humans...

I waved my hands infront of my face rather calmly, knowing exactly what to say to fix the situation. "Than I shall repair that which I have detroyed."

Before me, the youngling blinked in surprise. "...Really?"

Giving her a nod, I replied, "Really. Although, I shall need you to lead me to the gate of this place; I know not where it is..." My sense of direction has never been my strong point, which was actually what caused this little mess in the first place, along with my broken wings.

With an easily ignored awkward air surrounding us, she motioned for me to follow after her, which eventually ended us up at the gate back to earth. Finding it curious that she knew where to find it, I asked, "How did you find it with such ease?"

The human puffed her chest out with pride, seeming to find her supposed skills to be impressive. "I followed my gut!"

I rose a brow at the odd sense of pride she held in not actually _knowing_ the way home, but chose not to speak up about it. Needless conflict is just as needless as the first half of the term points out. As such, I had no reason to incite it, and instead had reason enough to _avoid _it.

It wasn't long untill we reached the world not filled to the brim with daemons, and we made our way to the point in which I had ever so gracefully landed. The crater of what was once a shrine.

Pointing to the massive crater, the little girl calmly demanded, "Fix it."

I rose a brow at the vague demand. "I shall need materials to do as such."

Tilting her head, the girl replied, "Than go get them?"

Giving a sigh, I made off for a forest in the slight distance, followed by the little girl the whole way. "...You realize that you needn't follow me, correct?"

Looking over my shoulder, I saw the human nod, and simply let out a sigh. This shall become tiresome, but I suppose this _is _my fault. Had I not fallen off of the heavens, I wouldn't _be_ in this mildly irritating situation; I had no one to blame for that mistake but myself.

And so we set to work on building a new shrine, which she was far more help in than I expected her to be, as I was expecting no help at all. Although, I _do_ have to wonder when this grand parent of hers might return, and proceed to have a heart attack for various reasons.

* * *

Waving to the angel as she flapped her now healed wings, I watched as she flew up into the clouds. "Bye, miss angel!"

She looked back to me, before calling out, "My designation would be Sariel, little human! Do try to remember it, although I doubt that you will, given your current track record on that regard."

That was a tough week... With the angel gone, I headed back to the new and improved shrine, now with the blessing of an angel to ward off destruction. ...No idea how that works, but it does sound nice enough.

As I made my way inside, I noticed that grandpa's ball was twitching about, and so padded over the freshly made tatami towards it. "What's wrong with you...?" Did I... I hope I didn't break it with hitting things with it so much!

And then I found yet another shocking thing happening. The orb split in to equal halves of yin and yang, seperating the black and white from eachother. Picking up the yin half, I found it to have a concave inside, making the whole thing hollow. When I looked at the other half, I found a cute little fairy to be sleeping inside of it. Ahh! This reminds me of those seven balls that summon a strange creature that grants wishes!

I began to poke to silky smooth cheek of the cute thing with my index finger, wanting to wake it up. I want my wishes!

* * *

Ugh... What's poking me...? I cracked open an eye, and looked to the source of my aggravation, finding a little brat to be poking my cheek. What in the...

Seeing that she had interrupted my beauty sleep, the brat cries out, "I want a bajillion yen!" ...Is this a robbery? Am I being held up by an irritating little human?! Continuing on, the human ticked off a finger. "And a delicious cake!" ...I'd better get some, if she plans to make a slave of me! "Ahh! And... And a nice, hot meal!" ...So, hot cake...? What's going on, it's as if she thinks I'm going to- "And the answer to life, the universe, and everything!" ...She thinks I can grat wishes, doesn't she?

Thinking for a second, the little brat added, "And I want to blow the world up!"

...What? ...Why...? "Who the heck'd wish for crap like that?!" I couldn't take these requests. I mean yes, I could grant wishes, but that doesn't mean that I _will_!

Getting a devious idea to get me a bit of peace, I asked, "...Now, hows about I give yas an interestn' life, instead?"

Looking at me with glittering eyes, the human began to grin. "That sounds like fun! Yeah, do that! Do that!"

Grinning wickedly, I worked up a bit of magic into my hands. "Hasta la vista, baby!"

Tilting her head, the brat asked, "What's that mea-"

While she was busy asking that question, I threw my orb of magic at her, causing her to pop out of this reality, and into another. Ahh, peace and quiet...

Not particularly caring for what sort of interesting life I had given the girl, I got back inside my yin-yang orb of a bed, and went back into hibernation. "Maybe another hundred year nap's..." I opened my ever so adorable little mouth in a yawn, as I began to drift off. "...What I need..."

Soon I was snoring yet again, not thinking at all on the fate of the brat in the least.


	5. Slacking Guardian of Yin

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner. I do not own any of the things from this story, and am merely making use of them.

A/N: Jeez, I keep getting distracted! The first failing was excuseable as a birthday present, but I shall do my best to make up yesterdays missed update!

Y/N: How responsible of you!

A/N: ...So long as I don't get distracted further.

Y/N: ...How typical of you.

A/N: Well, it's not like I can help it!

A/N2: Aaaaand I'm struck with a bit of a block...

Y/N2: If you don't write fast that will be the least of your troubles...

A/N2: Eep!

A/N3: Block's gone, I think! ...Probably.

* * *

Freedom is so near that I can taste it! The seal has finally weakened enough... I may escape from this twice damned shrine, now! I just have to collect the energy from around me... More... _More!_

Upon enough energy being gathered, a chain-reaction occured, causing the seals binding me to instantly be vaporized, as well as much of the shrine.

As I fled the scene, a small shrine maiden that looked oddly familiar cursed at having half of her home destroyed, even with some form of blessing it apparently had.

I laughed at the ill fortune of the girl, as I made for the gate to hell that I felt to be near. Why hell? Why not? Who would expect one to hide in such a place, while regaining strength? I feel so weak right now that even a child might be able to defeat me...

* * *

Petting the evil eye that I had made my pet, I sensed an irritating bit of energy nearing. Gods how I hate holy energy...

Motioning for my pet to hide, I stood back up, before stretching. Ahh, how I love being free... "You know, had you not stayed in your humanoid form for so long, I likely never would have broken free!" **_I must perform my duty. _**"Yes, yes... Duty this, duty that. Duty, duty, duty... Don't you ever get _sick_ of that? I'll take your silence as a no... Still the same old Gyoku, ehh?"

While I was busy talking to myself, a spirit even darker than myself flew past me, and into the gates of hell. With Gyoku's preaching distracting me, I only barely registered that this happened at all.

Some minutes late a familiar child came charging towards me with a great deal of rage permiating her small body. "Graaaa!" At hearing her let out gutteral roar of anger, I finally broke from my conversation. Flinching, I looked to the familiar girl.

At her look of great anger, as well as my memories of when we last met clicking in my mind, I gave her a vicious grin. "You again, huh? What brings you here?" At her look of confusion, I went on to ask, "What, don't remember me? ...Well, I s'pose we haven't met, so that _does _make sense..."

Raising a brow, the girl asked, "Can you hurry this up...? I need to avenge the shrine!"

Grinning at the girl full of as much fire as a sacred grove should by any means contain, I replied, "Yes, yes... Well, you freed me! From beating the hell out of Gyoku's nuts like that, you weakened him juuuust enough that I could escape!"

At realization of what she had seemed to have unleashed upon the world, the girl asked, "So you're that Sin girl?"

I gave a nod with a demented little grin, before adding, "That's me!"

"The one that eats people?"

Once more I nodded. "Yup!"

Raising a brow at how blasé I was being about it, she asked, "So, are you going to try and eat _me_?"

I chuckled, and shook my head. "Nope! What sort of girl do you take me for? I don't eat those that pull my keister out of the fire! ...Not to mention that women taste bad. I preffer me some man meat!"

Cringing at the last portion of my statement, the girl asked, "Man meat, as in..."

I tilted my head in confusion at the odd question. "The... meat ripped from a man? What else is there?"

Letting out a sigh, the young maiden grumbled at how she somehow had a less pure mind than the mind of myself. "Still, you shouldn't say it like that..."

Once more I tilted my head in confusion. "Why...?" **_She thinks you to be a bit of a slut. _**Upon hearing Gyoku's reply, I began to blush furiously. "G-Gyoku, you pervert! I don't think she thinks like that!"

Blushing at how wrong I was, the maiden replied, "_Actually_... That _was _what I thought you meant, I think. ...Well, unless he said it in a horrible way. Damned pedophile..."

I let out a snort at the accusation against my brother, wondering why she's so certain that he's like that. "Well, I've never seen him go for little _girls_ befo-" **_I am not a pedophile!_** "Ohh, shush, Gyoku! You know I'm only kidding. Anywho, he's too much of a strait arrow for that sorta stuff, kid. You'd have more of a chance to be mollested by me-" Just as I made a joke in bad taste, I found that she had taken it seriously, and responded much the same way as she did with my brother. The very hard, painful, and round way. "Damned... holy... balls..."

Slowly I fell over, while clutching at my crushed bean. So much pain. _So _much pain...! **_Hyahahahahaha! Ohh, the mighty Sin, struck down by a little girl! _**"Sh-shut up... Gyoku... Stop laughing..."

As I tried to stand, I saw that she was making her way towards the gate that her intuition told her was right. "W-wait! D-don-" ...I hate when people don't even let me finish warning them. Sure, I'm evil, and sure, she just crushed my precious thing, but I'd rather not risj the last one dying in hell.

Seeing as she said last year that she lives alone, it would be _horrible _if she died. I'd rather not see the barrier spiderweb again, if I can prevent it. Self preservation and such. What, me, care for a kid? Pshaw... That sounds silly.

As if to drive the point away from home, my cute little pet came out from hiding, speaking in its usual freaky way. **_New mama, you okay...? Scary thing hurt?_**

Puting on a convinving face, I replied, "N-no, dear. Mama's fine..."

Tilting its... head? Body? I never know what to call it, but she tilted it, before intruding upon my thoughts once more. **_New mama no look fine... Look in pain. Scary thing hurt?_**

I let out a sigh, while I continued to try and stand, repeatedly failing at doing so.

I'd _so_ kill that girl for doing that, if she wasn't the last of the Hakurei...


	6. Shortly Lost Ancestor

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner. I do not own any of the things from this story, and am merely making use of them.

A/N: Aha, jeez... I was stuck on how to handle this.

Y/N: Should you not say as such _after _the chapter has atleast been _started_?

A/N: ...Shush, Yukari.

Y/N: Ufufu... Don't want to admit I'm right, do you~?

A/N: Shush already!

Y/N: I shall take _that _as a yes~

A/N: Do you have an off switch...?

Y/N: Well, off for speaking, but on for... making pleased noises.

A/N: ...Why do I even bother...?

Y/N: You would be far more likely to know _that_ answer~

A/N: That was a rhetorical question! Ugh... Anyways, how about we just get on with the show...? I'm too tired for your crap, Yukari...

Y/N: Well, who's the one that chooses to write after midnight?

A/N: W-well...

* * *

I don't know why, but I feel a bit at home here... I wonder why that might be...? Around me are naught but screaming souls, each trying desperately to make their way inside my barrier against these soul-searing flames. It's surprising how little effort is needed to ward off the flames...

Somehow the screams make me have a sense of dejavu, but when I try to figure it out my mind begins to ache. Perhaps that is a sign that it would be best not think too hard on this, even if that just makes me wonder all the mo- oww, oww, oww...! Damn was that ever a large headache...

With the spirits swarming about me, I began to make my way back towards the way that I remembered the gate to be in, not for a want to leave, but for a desire to not see just what horrors hell might contain within its bowels.

As I walked, I gave the knife in my hand a once over. Why is this thing dripping with blood? Not only should the blood have burned off by now, but it should have dried by the time I even reached the flames!

Ignoring the thoughts that could perhaps be counted as disbelieving in my own existence, I continued to float along, feeling as though I was walking with legs that were not there. As my feet that were only there in my own sense of touch padded along the craggy surface of the darkest black, I eventually found one of my fears to have become a reality. "...Where in the hells am I...?"

Ignoring the pun of my statement, I began to float upwards in hope of finding something- _anything _that looked familiar. However, being a place meant to keep spirits such as myself eternally lost, I felt nothing but disoriented by going this high. Best go back d- Hey, what's that over there...?

Making her way through the black flames as if they were nothing, my technical jailer trudged, guided only by a keen intuition and far more anger than needed. Where have I seen her before... Ahh!

...Ahh...?

...Where _have _I seen her before? Now that I get a better look at her, she looks... _really _familiar. It's as if I've seen her before...

But why does the sight of her make me feel as if my dagger wants to be burried in her repeatedly? Best not let that win! I don't want to go about stabbing little girls for no particular reason, after all. I mean, she doesn't look like she could hurt a fl-

My head snapped back as a yin-yang orb impacted my nose, and then bounced back towards the one who kicked it at me with all her might, before being just barely dodged. "What the hell did you do to my shrine?!"

While holding my temporarily broken nose, which stayed as such only due to my own belief that she had broken it, she gave me a death-glare. Ectoplasm the color of blood began to run like a faucet with a stuck valve from my battered nose. "Whud was dat foh?!" With my nose thought to be stuffed full of blood, my voice suffered greatly.

"My name is Hakurei Reimu, you killed my shrine, prepare to die!" Again my head hurts- and not _just _due to getting my face smashed with a heavy ball. What is it about the name Hakurei that... that... Ugh, that word really makes my head ache!

On the second throw of the holy orb of pain, I dodged to the side, and gave her an irritated glare, the damage to my nose being forgotten enough that it instantly snapped back into a healthy shape. "Shrine's aren't alive, and I'm already dead, so you can't kill me!"

She blinked once in confusion, before once more furrowing her brow, not noticing the energies that I had begun to gather into my hands. "In that case, I'll just have to make you repair it, like that angel did!"

At the thought, the energies vanished from my hand. "...You're going to get me out of here?" That doesn't sound like a bad deal... I mean I _am _lost, and that _was _my fault...

"Well, yeah. I don't want a shrine in this place after all. That doesn't sound like a good idea at all!" Once more she kicked the ball at me, and I dodged the thing. "Now come alone peacefully, or I'm gonna start getting mad!"

...It may be best if I just accept; it is becoming _quite _apparent that my sense of direction can't be trusted after all. "...Alright, I'll do it I suppose. Lets go, child."

She gave me the most increadulous of looks, confused at why people seem so agreeable. "Wait, really? ...Hey, don't call me child! I'm twelve!"

I gave her a bit of a condescending grin, and replied, "Ohh? So you're not even a teenager? I suppose I'll have to call you kid, in that case!"

In irritation, the shrine maiden grabbed me by the ear, and began to march me towards where she figured the exit to be. How she managed to grab one of my quite ethereal ears, I had no idea.


	7. Bronze Anima Amalgamation

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Almost to the end of this~ In other news, SoEW shall actually have a story to it; I had little to work with in this one, and no true incident to plot and execute. As such, this story is likely going to end at 8 chapters, once the final two bosses have been completed, and the second ending has been made. Just like the first, you can trust me to make it... well, I'll make it have more substance to it, but the main point of this story has already happened. I made this primarily to show the strange idea in my head.

Y/N: My, quite the mouth-fu-

A/N: Shh. I'm not done. Now, I appologise for those that like the rather generic views of how the game went down, for these last two bosses shall... deviate from the norm. _Doubly _so on Kikuri. I likely have a one of a kindview, when it comes to her. Anyways, with my first actual author note in a while complete, how about we get on with the show?

Y/N: ...I had no lines...?

A/N: Indeed.

* * *

The barrier, it's gone...

Gone! We're free!

So many of us.

The barrier has broken.

Freedom!

Salvation for the damned has arived!

Become one with the ground.

Become one with the bronze benethe.

Benethe the ground lies bronze.

That evil spirit has great breasts.

Dig.

Dig, and touch freedom...

Dig!

Tackle the ground.

Show the ground who is the boss, and penetrate it with your entire body.

Yes...

As the number of evil souls had reached a peak, they began searching out a concentration of purified bronze in the ground. As the hundreds of burning souls filed into it, the black flames in the vicinity began to die down from the sheer force of numbers the souls had. They used the one evil spirit of notable power as a beacon, and every single one that saw said beacon had come. As we dug, tackled, and thrusted their way into the burning onyx stone, we eventually uncovered an ancient bronze disk, with no features to it.

It was made for me...

In we go!

Enter!

With our ticket out perhaps uncovered, we all began to stream into the thing, eventually making a concentrated soul-stone of thousands upon thousand of corrupt beings, mortal and otherwise. We hardly had a concensus on direction, but we had enough of one to atleast float upwards, before we simply floated there. A strange woman's upper body rippling across the surface, before it went smooth once more.

Once more ourminds had a slight concensus, and the imagry of a sleeping woman returned, looking as if it was trying to hold their souls in place.

Forwards.

Upwards.

North.

South.

North.

East.

West.

South.

Downwards.

Forwards.

They simply couldn't come to a concensus on direction, while being hammered away at by a ball of holy energy. While damage wasn't being done in the traditional sense, as their unliving shell of bronze couldn't feel pain, the disk began to have a few cracks form across it; the many souls were so insistant in their thoughts that they were literally tearing the disk of bronze apart from the inside, and so it seemed as if it was taking damage from the orb, even if it wasn't. The confused miko continued her onslaught, thinking herself to that maybe hitting the odd gem would speed things up, and so she began to try and hammer the gem made of souls.

With the first strike, burning-hot shards rained down upon them, and they were just barely able to avoid them. Oddly being the one forced to dodge the most, our fellow evil spirit shouted, "Hey, hey, watch it!"

The miko cringed at that close call, and looked to her prisoner apollogetically. "Sorry!"

The blow to our soul-gem was enough that our energies began to become destabalized, and the disc began to wobble and tremble, splitting in various places.

"Hey, I think that did something!" The young soul must be the cause, we decided. The voice matched this.

Destroy her!

Kill!

Rip and tear!

Choo-choo chaa, boogie!

Almost every single one of us felt as if it would be best to be rid of her, and our conjoined soul began to brilliantly shine, and send out bolts of energy intent on killing the pest. Of course, as we lack eyes we couldn't tell where to aim; we could feel two souls not within us, and began to attack them both, at first not sure which to fire upon. One was busty, and so couldn't match the childish voice, so we began to unleash a flurry of dark energies in the general direction of the young soul.

"Wah!" The young soul shifted to the side, dodging the only mote of power that had even come close to her, while the chesty soul flitted about, avoiding countless attacks.

The well endowed soul seemed to not apreciate our aim, and so began to make noises of disdain at us. "Hey, I didn't do anything! Attack the kid, not me!"

As we sent another volley out, the gem at our center began to crack, and split at the crystalized seams. With every sebsequent bolt of energy we launched, the cracks spread, eventually spreading into the bronze itself.

With the souls on the ropes, or so we thought, we began to fire off as much as we could, shards of soul and bronze flying towards them along with the bolts, each propelled by small explosions within our bronze body. As we went on, pieces began to crumble from the bronze, and souls began to leak from the stone, eventually resulting in quite the explosion.

What?!

It was not supposed to explode!

Stop exploding!

I was so close to freedom!

No, not again! Not the fires!

Not more suffering!

Noooo, not again!

With our vessel destroyed, every last soul went to the four winds, while the human tried hard to catch her breath, and the evil spirit smoldered quietly, having taken the brunt of the attacks, not to mention being caught in the explosion.


	8. Hornless hundred-horn

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner. I do not own any of the things from this story, and am merely making use of them.

A/N: And now we've come to the grand finale!

Y/N: Ahh, yes. The inevitable end of the first game. I do hope you can do _something _with the silly ending to the Hell route, like you did with the Makai route.

A/N: Y-yeah, that shall be the hardest part, honestly...

Y/N: ...There's nothing you can do, is there?

A/N: Ahahaha! You're so crazy, Yukari!

Y/N: That's a yes, isn't...?

A/N: ...Ahaha...

* * *

Hrm... Once more the flames consume me. I have to wonder what it was that gave me that slight respite from these black flames of my prison. I have become used to the pain, but the sudden lack there of... it was bliss, plain and simple. It even allowed my blackened, crispy skin enough time to regenerate the slow errosion that the flames had caused. Even as strong as I am, an oni can only take this heat for so long. How long has it been? A decade? A century? No, it must have been at the least a _few_ millenia...

How time flies when you're having _fun_... It feels like just yesterday that I was defeated by that fairy in a single blow. Who would have thought a goddess to be so strong? Perhaps I should have tried to atain godhood instead of these one hundred horns that have been used to secure me to this wall. Every single one of them was ripped from me, and shot through my body deep enough to penetrate the stone behind me.

I'm no saint, but it was quite the crucifixion, _that_ I can be certain of. However, it _does_ make me wonder as to if I would be counted as a hundred-horn, or a no-horn... Of course, I've thought of this a few hundred thousand times, but regardless of that, I have come no closer to an answer. Even my astral form is stuck to this wall. If only I could atleast seperate that part of myself, I could atleast try and remove myself. I wonder how the world looks after all these years? I wonder if the devas are still all alive, even. How I would love to grind their skulls to dust, and gain their horns. But... What were their names?

...I think one was like a form of melon

And the one I cut the arm from was... Kisu?

Then there was the deva of strength, whose name I somehow have managed to remember perfectly. Genkotsu Sazanami... I hope she's still around, for I would _love_ to kill her so very slowly...

And finally, there wa the bastard that assisted the goddess in keeping me off of her while she prepared the seal. If I ever see Ota again, I will put his title to the test, and see just how hard it is to break every single bone in his body!

...And then there was that tengu that helped them, Tenga... How I despise that speed of hers. If I could have just laid a finger upon her, I would have ripped those legs of hers off clean off, and seen just what wolf tastes like.

Not to mention that kappa. Him, I could atleast respect. Nothing like the other kappa I'd seen, who treated me like a god, and cowered as if I would smite them. He had strength like an oni, that one... I can't remember his name, but I doubt that there will ever be another kappa like him. I'm sure he's died by now, but I'd still like to fight him again some day. Perhaps once I get out of this place, and kill the devas.

Ohh? What have we here? "What is... a little girl... doing in... hell...?" ...Note to self: practice speaking some time. I sound _terrible_...

Looking at me with an oddly large amount of anger for a little girl, she shouted, "I'm getting the one who destroyed my house back, and making her fix it!"

I weakly rose a brow, and croaked out, "...My, that is... some dedication... that you have..." I sound like a deep-throated a horn, and it didn't go well...

"Ehh, so long as my shrine gets repaired, I don't really care about the effort needed to get her to do it." The human child let out a sigh at how this had become more than a one-off thing.

"Hey, I didn't mean to, you know!" The evil spirit gave a groan of irritation, seeming to not appreciate being talked about as if she meant to do it.

"Well, whatever... Anyways, see ya around, strange wall-monster!" At being called such a thing, my brow twitched.

I weakly called out that I'm not whatever that is, while they made their way away, now too far to hear me.

Dammit, I didn't have a chance to trick her into releasing me...

* * *

"Well, seems it's about time I get going; the shrine's all fixed up, and I even gave it a bit of my mojo to ward off disaster!" ...Why do I not trust that one bit? After the _angel_ 'blessed' my shrine, it's only seemed to guarentee disaster! With that in mind, I slapped an ofuda between the shoulders of the spirit as she tried to leave. "Ahhhh...! W-what...?! Why...!"

"You're still dangerous, Spirit." I couldn't just let an evil spirit like her to run free.

The form of the spirit began to become like smoke and steam at once, billowing from her entire body. "I told you... it's... _Mima_!"

I let out a sigh, and replied, "Sorry, Mima. You really should have expected this, though."

The spirit laughed dryly, a certain weakness to it. "Y-yeah, yeah... Well, see ya later!"

"Later? You're not getting out of this..." As I said this, ghostly laughter reverberated through the room, before the now filled charm fell to the ground. "...Guess I'll stick it in the new sub-shrine thing she helped build. Really, she should have seen this coming."

What ominous laughter that was, though...

* * *

"Not again! No, stop opening, Yin-yang orb...!" I tried desperately to close the thing, but before I could manage to close it, a massive fuzzy thing come out of it, its thin legs longer than the shrine was tall. When it stood up inside of the shrine, it punched a hole clean through the roof, and began to trash the place.

With my weapon of choice now hollow, and useless for blunt force trauma, I broke down and sobbed.

As the shrine collapsed on top of me, I woke up with a start, and noticed someone floating over me.

...Floating?

Hovering beside my futon was Mima, with the most murderous of grins on her face, her knife glinting in the moon light.

"Kyaaaaa!" Being the little girl that I was, I proceeded to wet myself.

"Heh... That's for trying to seal me! Adios!" With that said, Mima vanished, leaving me sitting in a pool of my own warmth.

That was scary...!


End file.
